I know that life is not fair! I know that we have to pay for our sins! I know! Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world, I believe in it. It almost boils blood in my veins, this feeling pushes  me to make feats, it warmths all the body, it moves to dance, sing, fly! Only when it is mutual feeling! It is so awful when love is not mutual! It is like a hit of the blade on the veins! Like an impetus you get when you are on the edge of the abyss. I have never loved, I laughed at "those fools fallen in love", I was confident that it passed by me, that I have an iron heart – how much innocent expectations and hopes I broken without a pity! I am so ashamed now. You can ask - and what now? Well, I have fallen in love! How it was great! I really could fly! No one could recognize me in my new image! I got it all! I was pairing. He is remarkable, and is exactly what I need. And everything is like in the tale now - BUT! But he is married! It is so painful, unpleasant! But I can not return anything – it caught me, I am dying, with sadness in the heart. And then I realized that I was afraid of silence. More precisely, not to be afraid - but it is like something huge presses me. There are too many thoughts in my head, and I want so much to get rid of them, but I fail. I even  turn on some music – louder and louder, it always helped me, but not now - what happened? It is the feeling like I am getting crazy, although I do not even know what it seems like. I have assembled a poem recently. Assembled – the very correct work – I really assembled a poem, because there is a whole ocean of rhymes, but they are unrelated, senseless, without start and end, complete nonsense. And I do not even care whether anybody will like it or not. I just feel some release. Weak, though, on the brink of devastation. And I did not put exclamation points - I do not know where and what I feel, where I want to ask, and where I want to exclaim.